Ark with friends? How are you?

So me and my friend wanted to play ark together it only had it for the xbox so i bought it on microsoft but it didn't work. So we're on the same server and have played, but we're no longer having fun, then he bought ark on the pc (also on microsoft, of course). Now we wanted to play together again. So he hosted a non dedicated session. When he made private and had invited me the message join failed and that several times so he makes it public I looked but his world is not displayed to me. And we have no more ideas.

You have to adjust the firewall in windows. And set up a port forwarding in the router… There are relevant instructions at steam and in general

Where do I adjust that