ARK crossplay is not possible?

I bought the Microsoft version of ARK to be able to play with my friends (Xbox). Now we can play together on official servers, but if we want to have a non-dedicated game this doesn't work. The error message "Join Failed" appears again and again. Why is that? How can we play on non-dedicated servers now? (It wasn't because of the firewall either)

You have to rent a server and activate crossplay in the settings. This is how everything should work

Too bad. Didn't really want to spend any money

A server is not that expensive. Can you recommend g portal

OK.

The server would now be more important than ever (that's why I only responded now) xD. Have just been raided on an official pvp server. Nothing is as frustrating as this game (especially when you're 2nd or 3rd)

I can understand ^^