Play together in Ark?

Hey me and a friend are playing Ark together on a PVE server. However, we have a problem there. Well, I have known you for over 5 years, but since you moved we're only in contact via the Internet. That's why she got Ark for the PS4 a few months ago so that we can at least do a little more than just write or make calls. But now we have the problem that the interaction somehow doesn't work… We tried the following and the following problems occurred:

We were a tribe and built together - problem: One was always higher with the level and the one with the lower got upset that no consideration was given in a tribe. Everyone had their own animals.
We were a tribe but broke apart (not so far apart) - Problem: Everyone did their own thing in the end and you lost sight of each other and just kept quiet at the party. Everyone had their own animals.
We were in different tribes and broke apart - problem: everyone did their own animals, their own thing and there was silence in the party.

It must be possible somehow to be able to play together in peace or not? Others can do it too. You have to say that I'm a team player because I have never really played alone and she is a single player because she played alone for years. Do you have any ideas for us how we can play together? You don't want to use my animals in Ark even if I offer it to her, because from time to time animals of mine have died because of them. Which is not bad, because you can get back to yourself but she refuses to use my animals. Thanks for your ideas and a big SORRY for the length of the text

To be honest, it almost sounds like ARK isn't the right game at that point. I can say for myself that ARK has almost broken the friendship with one of my buddies because there were accidental moments when animals died or I had no more space to expand my base. We collided there many times and yes.

I would really recommend you switch games. Minecraft for PS4 is fun too. Terraria is also a great game for two people, where there are fewer problems.

I suggested to her to change the game, but she wants to play this game with me and is firmly convinced that it can be managed - but neither you nor I know how. About the animals, we're not angry with each other if one should die, but she doesn't even want to use my animals just because two of my animals have died with her.

We have our own private server with the map Crystal Isles.

Oh, you only play with 2 completely without other players? So PvE

Yes, as described above in the text.

It doesn't say anywhere specifically that it * only * is the 2 of you on the whole server

But it's only about me and my girlfriend. If others were on it, I would have written that.

Yes I don't know doesn't matter either