I have had 3 best friends for 10 years. We did everything together and were always there for you. A few months ago, two new boys joined in (from the football club of one of my best friends). Since then, I've noticed that the 3 have distanced themselves from me something: no hanging, no PS4, no chatting. They were more often with the outside.
So a week ago, the five of them opened a Whatsapp group because they wanted to go to the movies, but they did not invite me. One of them added me to the group (one of the new 2) and kicked me right back.
My 3 "best friends" neither wrote to me nor said anything the next day.
Since the speech I no longer with those. Should I go to them and ask them to hang out with them, or go my own way?
Go your own way. They seem to want nothing more to do with you. They were not real BFs.
I would not run after them after they shut you out and beg again to do something with you
As you describe it, I have the feeling that they have virtually exchanged you. What I also can imagine is that the two new ones have something to do with it, maybe they can't stand you and try to get you out somehow.
However, before you throw the friendship just like that I would first look for the conversation with your best friends and ask where the problem is.
It could also be a misunderstanding. It is very unlikely that friends for 10 years suddenly abort the contact without any reason. I would just talk to them again and describe my thoughts. Then you know yourself what's up
What I also can imagine is that the two new ones have something to do with it, maybe they can't stand you and try to get you out somehow.
may be natural, but he also wrote this here:
One put me in the group (
one of the new 2) and I kicked right back.
So first he invited him and therefore thought that belongs to it.
That sounds pretty bitter and really is not fair to you
If you are good friends, you should not simply put the friend aside and treat him like a stranger
Did something happen?
Were there no similarities in recent times?
Some people always want to win new people over and forget about their friendships with their old friends…
They want to experience new things with new people
I have already done so
And it's really a big disappointment
You should at least have a look for a conversation with you, -that I think you should give a longtime buddy already
If they see you now as a cheap substitute, if the others do not have time for them right now, you should consider the friendship
Also tell them how much you are disappointed with them
All the best
If you have been as good friends for 10 years as you describe it, it is often worthwhile to seek the conversation. You should tell your friends how you feel when they treat you like this and that after all the years you have been there for each other, you are very disappointed and sad.
So your friends get the chance to reflect their behavior towards you and correct if necessary. Then you also know exactly what they really care about you.
Real friends may well make a mistake - but they see him and among friends, you can forgive a lot, if there's interest from all sides to maintain a good friendship.
If they do not respond as hoped, you can still shoot them.
I think that's not so unlikely. It got more often with the one with some friends only because there was no other. Was also friends with two times and one just went as soon as she found others. Or interests change.
But clearly one can still try to talk. If you do not want a conversation, you should not continue to chase after it. I tried it that way and then got to hear that I was annoying because I kept trying to make friends while they did not want any more…
So I think that's absolutely not that these oh so "best friends" exclude you. I completely understand you, that you want to plead / ask to do something with you. Do you know what forget that! These are not real friends. You did not do anything wrong that they are against you now. It sounds simple but it is not, you had 10 years of friendship behind you. I also had best friends of over 15 years and also had to let go and look, I'm still alive, made new friends.
I do not know how old you are now, I guess 16-18 years. You are young, you are naive, you sometimes make wrong decisions. I really advise you to get rid of them. I was also young and was naive, now I'm 28 years old, I had no one who gave me tips on wisely choosing his friends. I had to decide everything myself, but I grew up in it. If I have a chance today's generation can give something, why not.
Go your own way, make new friends, of course it's not easy to find new ones, but with time it will work out. Hopefully. You do not need 100 friends if not all are behind you. If you have 2 or 3 friends who will eventually strengthen your back, then it's enough in life.
