I have a concern that is close to my heart. Last year was a very big year for me because I made new friends and came out of my shyness.
At the beginning of the year I had problems with myself and found a friend who had experienced something similar and had problems with his boyfriend. Both 14-15 years old (was 17) we got on well, I always tried to mediate between them when there was an argument and it worked well. The boyfriend asked me if I like or love his friend and I said I like him
He passed it on and after that I had no contact with either of them due to other arguments.
I also got to know a friend's ex around summer and flirted with him a lot. I was totally happy with his messages every time. We met around October at a friend's birthday party and smooched around. (And yes, because we were both alcoholic, my first kiss was a French kiss XD) I was totally uncomfortable. Left it at that and are now good friends (he has a girlfriend and I'm really happy for them, no jealousy etc )
Now I wrote to another friend for a few weeks, but as soon as he wanted to meet, I was somehow panicked and under pressure. (So I hosted it without any intention and I feel bad for it too)
Another friend I met about summer last year, I think is cute too, etc. (wrote summer up to the one guy)
After that there was silence and now since February I have been writing messages every day. Mostly 20-50 a day
I actually had the first meeting alone with a boy about 2 weeks ago. We were in a park talking and playing nintendo. I found the atmosphere totally chill but he didn't get to me either because he is as introverted as I'm. I know of his problems, he of mine and it's okay.
I'm really a little disappointed with my behavior at the moment because I don't know if I like or love the boys. It is very difficult for me to tell this apart. I'm a person who needs / needs a lot of attention and would do a lot for it.
I don't have a good relationship with my father (he used to be violent towards me or my mother), so it can happen.
If I like someone, I immediately see them as a potential potential partner. Even if I don't like everything about him / her. I can imagine my whole life with him in seconds.
I just don't want to risk friendship with the guy I met last because I don't want to experience the same situations as before.
Do you have any ideas that make me more aware of whether I only see them as friends or partners?
So, I think you should think about it: do you imagine a future with this person? With children, for example, etc. (if you want to have children). Love develops after a long time - if you intensify the relationship between two. Before that you are in love - so you have a crush on the person. If you are really attached to a person for a very long time, you can assume that you are in love. Then it depends on how the person you like deals with you. Such a topic is always complicated, just pay attention to your gut feeling. You will notice when you are really in love.
Thank you so much
You definitely helped me.
I know your feelings very well right now. I didn't have situations like that, but at the moment I'm also wondering whether I'm Really in love with them or somehow "just" want a friendship.
I think it always depends on who this boy is and what he wants.
I know that friendship is often so great that you fall in love.
If I understand that correctly, you are unsure what exactly you want from certain boys and you are afraid that with more, the friendship might break down. Do I understand that correctly?
Secondly, I can say that it definitely helps if you talk to the boy about it. Talk about what he wants, how you see it and how you want to manage it together. That definitely helps.
And the first, when you don't even know exactly what you want (if I understand that properly). Well, you just have to find that out for yourself somehow. I still haven't come up with a result. But here too, talk to the boy. It's okay.
If it is that I did not understand your question correctly and I have now written an inappropriate answer, then just say it. Then you can also ask again specifically. 😉🌸
And otherwise, all the best and stay healthy 🍀
I would call it alternating current. Neither negative nor positive, but simply in exchange as a whole system.
Just as you can't only love people and you also need distance, you can't only fall in love with a person and always without being subject to other sensory stimuli. Because the world does not only consist of pure conceptuality, which is love, if your values remain inexperienced as pure conceptuality because you are evaluating and have to belong to an evaluation that drowns out all other values in sound.
Basically, the mistake lies in evaluating, having to evaluate yourself when you are in stunned beauty, and you don't need to understand what it is like, what happens to you. Because either you are blown away or you are still stuck between the losses of an eternity not being able to give up.
Giving up in the sense of being tailor-made for you, in which it may also be unknown, not needing to change it because you are the one who invents himself to the world that you are.
Either you want to put everything on it because you want to enjoy all of it, because everything is there for you without needing it, or you hold up a possibility that you are only loving under a custom of gestures.
Find your own gestures because you know each other. You correspond to yourself in remembrance of yourself when you return. Basically, you are almost more beautiful than any love in the world because it has to come from you so that you can love.
Because you are alive when you no longer need life and you just have it. Or it doesn't work because you are hungry to change and mutate yourself.
Of course, you are lost in ignorance, and you will not be able to understand some of the processes without starting their process. You can't believe in love if you are afraid, and you will not be able to see it in the process of fruit. And you can't believe in your salvation if you acknowledge your misery in it, and you can't redeem in the process of suffering.
Basically, you are only vulnerable and weak because you belong to one side of your natural intimacy, how you want to live and love.
In the sense of why it doesn't matter, and simply take the promise, unpromised, of what feels right to be put here and now. Because the feeling is always a little faster than the mind, and in the real sense the bell of his environment, to which he has to adapt, wants to feel and be able to bring himself.
Therefore, please formulate less what love is or not, what the great God is, and only his help or turn away. Looking at individual aspects can explain their function, but dropping them can also mean looking beyond what you admit to knowing.
In that sense, don't know what love is. Remember how loving you can be when you sit in your process of being love.
Then you will no longer need a partner because everyone cooperates with you.
A very deep thoughtful text. Thank you for taking so much time and effort. The text really touched me.
