Friend extremely cold- what to do?

My friend (27) and I (22) have been together for 5 months. The last 5 months with him were awesome. He was so sweet, caring and so on. But he works extremely hard and I can't start my job until June. So it can really be that I really get on his nerves. I was as good as only with him. But the suggestion came from him. And now he was the last days very distant. When we were with him, he just played PlayStation. On suggestion something together to look, he has not received. Sunday I wanted to surprise him with a few candles, but he said only "oh fire, great." he was single for a long time and is a bit rusty when it comes to something. Not so bad. I wanted physical closeness and he totally blocked because of he was tired. Can be yes. But his behavior has given me cause for concern. Yesterday he was free and completely ignored me and gambled all day. In the evening I had the courage to ask if everything was okay. "Jo" came back. Then I continued to ask if I did something. He ignored me again. Have then started a new attempt. Nothing. Then, unusually, I started crying because his behavior hurt me very much. I asked him if I was important to him "do not know" came back. Then asked if a relationship makes any sense for him. Since he was angry (after all, some emotion on his part) and asked me if I was serious, now everything in question. Then he took a shower. I know that feelings do not show his strength but he was so blatantly cold. He came back and I sat there like a bunch of miserable, but he paid no attention to me. When I asked if we could talk in peace, there was no answer. Then turned off the TV and held him as he wanted to go. Well, and then he popped my head, that I him. That I'm only with him, too bored. I told him that if he needed time for himself, he could tell me that too. But this was followed by icy silence and just rolling his eyes. Then he got up and wanted to run away again. He told me that I really wanted to say something to him when I planned the romantic evening. He asked what was really interesting and then I said the three magic words. He did not reply. Then I packed my things and he said "Do you want to go now?" - "I do not want to, but I do not want to annoy you either" - "Do not make a drama like that" - and then I left. Called that he now knows what I feel for him and he should contact if he is clear about his feelings. And so far, nothing came from him. I want to give him the time, but it's so difficult. What is your opinion? Should I wait, write to him and if yes, when? Why is he suddenly so changed?

I'm grateful for all tips and advice.

Sounds violent and would hurt me a lot in your situation.
I can imagine that all this is too much for him. You are only 5 months together and as you already say, he was single for a long time. He is not used to having someone non-stop around him. I saw that myself with my ex. At the beginning, I had no job and was with him every day. He could not breathe. When he came home from work, I was already with him and wanted to do something with him or talk to him because I had not really much to do the whole day. He, on the other hand, just wanted to have some peace and quiet, take a shower and just lie down after a long day. I did not understand that and so the daily quarrel started until we parted for a short time. During the conversation he told me that I completely restricted him and I did not leave him any room at all. I only realized that when he hit my head. After a little break we tried again and it got a lot better.

What I want to tell you is that feelings can regress, if you are constantly only annoyed by the partner. You are no longer happy when you know that the partner comes over and eventually the topic of conversation also goes out. Give him space for his own life. Every human needs it, whether in a relationship or not. If he wants to gamble, do something to keep you busy yourself. Go out, meet friends, do something with your family, or pursue a hobby.

But what does not excuse all that is his way of dealing with you. It can't be that he just turns you on stupidly sideways, but does not say where the real problem is, and I'd talk to him about it calmly. That is not how it works. He is 27 and behaves like a kidnapped child.

So really respect for your patience. But if that is already the case after 5 months, how is that in 2 years? I would wait exactly two days, then drive to him once more, but not to talk, but to put an end to it. It probably has his reason why he was single for so long! You only appreciate something when you have lost it. If he reports, you can talk again, otherwise the case would have done for me.

I think so disrespectful!

But clinging is also wrong, something can be quite annoying. Since his view would be interesting to hear.

Yes, the problem is that I'm not sure if I have the strength. Although I know that it would not make sense in the long run, if only I would show interest in a relationship and do everything with me…

He is sometimes very stubborn, that's what I can be too. I tried to imagine the situation the other way around. So I could never have treated him that way. That would have hurt me too much.

I also do not want to cling and I think if I can finally do the job that I'm sure, that will also put me back, that I'm currently a bit affectionate. Only from the working hours then. I just did not realize that he would feel it was a cling. I'm in love and until a week ago I would have said without hesitation, he too. And then from today to tomorrow. But yes, his view would interest me. Then of course I can change something and we would both help. Stickwort communication… Unfortunately, it is completely missing.

Unless he does not feel anything for me. But then he should be so fair and tell me that and not let me fidget… I certainly did not do everything right, but in my opinion nobody deserves that.

My husband is also Sturr… Me too. Climbing and great jealousy are not with us. Because we both do not want that. We trust each other and have already gone over a great many hurdles. But, both of us have holidays and are constantly on our nerves, there's already time after 3-4 weeks that everyone goes back to work. To keep our distance is also important to us, then you are all the more happy when you're together again. This is also a reason why I do not work hard in his workshop but only help if it really thick comes. We have been together for 14 years now and sometimes write messages like young people who are in love with each other 😂 Even a certain amount of distance does love well. So I can say that we're leading the Perfect Marriage. No one is crushed, jealousy is due to trust relatively little there, arguing now and then that shakes the booth but there's a problem we hold together.

Take the time for you and let calm stop. You should consider whether you want to continue the relationship if he is unable to talk to you in peace. In a relationship, you should be open and able to tell everything. Only then do you know what someone likes and what does not, what bothers you and what does not. I would be just as freezing cold and not report me first. I hope for you that it makes him feel like he's missing you and knowing what he has in you.