Is that right my 19-year-old son reproaches me?

I need some support from you what's right or wrong?!

I have been divorced for 3 years and live with my son.

Unfortunately, he has no training and no work because he is constantly with his Playstation.

I've tried everything possible to get him out of there but no chance in this age.

Now I have a friend who has already moved with me.

My son has packed his suitcase and his father has moved him.

He did not accept that someone would move into the apartment without his permission he does not know. And that he is also a Muslim.

I know that I have 20 years my life patience with this before marriage because of my children until they grow up.

Now I finally find someone I'm so happy.

and unfortunately I'm sorry that my son reacts this way.

I've done everything for him to do cooking cooking laundry… He just played with his Playstation.

I was always too good to him without problems.

The problems were only when the internet was off or when I talked about education or work.

He is dependent on his game because unfortunately I can't help him any further.

He says life is not beautiful outside everybody smokes drinks and takes drugs.

He threatened me more often that he did not want to continue living.

He also does not have a good relationship with his father as a little boy.

Now he has been living with his father for a few months.

I said to my son he should come back home and start a real life. With a training or a job find.

He said no… The train is gone! I would think it over.

My friend is very nice with him and would like to do sports and much more with him.

Actually, I can't blame myself for doing something bad.

As a human being, I also want to live happily ever after.

But inside I'm very sad what he's doing for me.

I do not want to have a bad conscience.

I would be happy to answer a few here!

Parents have a big impact on the future of their children!

You have not listed anything right now, which would give your son the right to blame you. But apparently you have accepted for years that he does not do anything.

It also stands out that your German is very bad. Some parts of your question are hard to understand. This suggests that you could not be of much help to your son in life (help with homework, finding an apprenticeship, applying, going to the authorities, etc.)

I realize that even you did not have an easy life. But you have decided to give birth to a child and thus take responsibility for him. In my opinion, you should do this only if you are absolutely sure that you can provide your child with good to very good starting conditions.

You could have discussed this with your family doctor, who could have advised your son on therapy. Why are so many people printing until nothing works? Your son has clearly shown that he is overwhelmed and possibly slightly depressed or so, so that he did not come out of his own behavior. Since uses no constant complaining, there should be courage, show opportunities, go with him for career guidance, etc. - as a loving and worried parent mMn.

Father is moving out and now comes the new friend is also for someone who had previously only his two parents, often very overwhelming. Here one could have talked in advance, tell the new friend, the first time can meet outside the home, can introduce family rules, the son (possibly with experts such as family doctor, counselor in the family educational institution, etc.) "your father is always yours Father, but I can't live with him anymore and have fallen in love again, let's find ways to handle it, so that everyone in the apartment can live well ".

I have no children, but I'm a divorce child and when I was grown up my mother had some friends / short-term relationships with previously unknown men. This can be handled well if one is given time and opportunities to retreat especially as a teenager, especially space, ie the permission to look at the partner as a stranger and not as a "substitute for a father".

Maybe you should all go together again or separately (parent & child) to a counseling center and just get the opportunity to talk about your feelings and possibly find solutions and rules for ALL.

Tell your son he can come to you any time if there's something but you will accept how he wants to live. And then go through and let him do it. He is grown up. It's about time he realizes it himself. Take care of yourself. He'll be fine.

The only thing I do not like is that it makes you feel as if you are weak towards him, which also weakens him. He as a child may feel that he has to help you and that would overwhelm any child.

He has nothing to talk about in your relationship, but meanwhile you should not have grown up where he is. You should start by meeting him on a human level and driving the mother part back a bit. Complaining, moaning and so on brings absolutely nothing and only makes it worse. Be strong, take care of yourself then he will look at you as a good example of how to do it.

Oh the poor little one. She should have taken away the playstation and shut hotel mama a few years earlier. He wants accommodation and food: then go work and bring money home or go. Eventually it is over. He has no desire to work and does not want to do anything that has nothing to do with depression.

Okay, what's the use of seeing other people, even family members and children, as enemies to play? Why choose the hard way, even if there had been a philanthropic way? Why does this attitude evidently spread, "let's get people to deal with problems that deserve it," or "let's just make people so ready, that's funny"? Why does it always have to result in a power struggle and struggle in general, if there are alternatives that can be used to solve problems in such a way that nobody loses, is humiliated or stressed out?

Where does this seemingly common idea come from, that you'd better hurt somebody if there's a chance to improve on it than his life? Why do people think that these actions do not revert to them and that one (or another) behaves similarly on occasion?

Especially in the family there's a high risk that in stress / problems everyone lives at the expense of the other and ALL are unhappy, instead of putting oneself together, putting everyone's needs and concerns on the table and finding solutions that ALL can live with, not one or some at the expense of others?!

Your "friend" should not do sports with him but what he misses most!

Friendship
love
father
hope
popularity

That's what I mean to read out of your test!

What does not work:

- Accusations!

To keep your babble short: he has the duty to advance his education and to provide himself as an adult. If he does not do that and rejects all good words, then mommy will eventually have no duty to care for him and it will be time for consequences. They should have happened a long time ago and this includes demands on the child, because that is caring and loving.

Searching for training and applying
looking for side job or full time job to pay his expenses: rent, electricity, internet, telephone, food, clothes etc
introduce consequences if he does not meet the requirements: delete Internet, delete mobile phone contract, playstation away etc…

a composition has probably been done, but he has no interest in getting on his own legs. He lived at the cost of his mother and now at the cost of his father. If he wants to put up with the next years, his problem. The mother does not have the problem any more and the only thing she can accuse is to want to participate for so long.

That's the reality. At some point, child will perhaps understand this and meet with the mind or just live as an eternal loser in the street.

Friendship has to be worked out, hopes have been set enough, he gets his approval when he finally starts to move and work and he already has a father. Allegations really do not need it, but only consistent action. She should have kicked him out long ago.

Your son is grown and no longer a small child, that he is no longer with you, is good, because you need peace and quiet. You can best help him if you do not help him. As long as he finds a made nest, he does not build his own and everything stays as it is. Only when your door remains for him does he take his life into his own hands. He has to learn to pay for his own home, electricity and iron. If he gets that from you, he will not do it himself.