Greetings to all,
Since about May of last year (obtaining my baccalaureate) I (m / 21 years) have to struggle with the most serious motivation problems. After just one semester, I finished two courses (mechanical engineering and electrical engineering) without being able to motivate myself for a single exam.
I guess my main problem is that I'm hardly motivated extrinisch (externally). Say things like pay play a rather subordinate role for me. Here are a few examples to illustrate this.
Travel, are completely uninteresting for me
Cars are completely uninteresting to me and extremely impractical in my neighborhood.
Parties and clubs (which cost well over € 100 per visit) are uninteresting to me.
At girls, respectively young women, I have already seen my lack of opportunities at 15/16 and have distanced myself. Contact with women has been limited to a simple "hello" and "goodbye" in the last 5/6 years.
Due to the above mentioned, there's no family planning or maintenance obligation for me, respectively, neither is expected in the future.
Designer clothing (especially in mass) has rarely touched me. I buy maybe every 18-24 months a new pair of shoes including one or two pants and a few T-shirts. My jacket is e.g. Already four years old.
Exquisite restaurants also do not appeal to me and do not seem like made for me. Burger King or an ordered pizza I perceive as "luxury".
I do not consume alcohol, tobacco or drugs. Thus, no costs are incurred here.
Real estate and housing are also not a high priority for me. I live, as before, with my parents and although I have here only a relatively small room (about 5-6 square meters), I miss (felt) at nothing. In addition, as an only child, I will inherit the flat later, so I will not have to worry about any accommodation problems.
A few months ago I thought about how much, or rather little, money I ultimately need to live. I came up with a sum that was perhaps 50% higher than the Harz IV rate (say about 600-650 Euro) per month. Really of interest to me is just consumer electronics (say video games and movies / TV series). I'm halfway solid calculator, TV and monitor and a Playstation, as well as occasional visits to the cinema (costs here mo-Mi schlappe 5.50 euro).
For me things are more like peace, peace, security, leisure, the Catholic faith and especially physical health in the foreground.
What is my problem now? That's pretty simple. After my failed studies, I have now found an apprenticeship as a mechatronics engineer and am simply worried that I can't sufficiently motivate myself for the teaching and, ultimately, without any profession.
Can someone help me?
Have you considered what you would like to achieve in your life?
For example, would you like to help other people, or are you really just interested in video games and movies / TV series and having enough money to vegetate?
Would a life in the monastery be something for you? Especially if you are so attached to the Catholic faith?
You do not necessarily have to find your vocation in the job or in family planning or traveling. These are just common models that society proposes for its own fulfillment. You just have to find your lifestyle, probably. Is minimalism something for you or you go to volunteer work for humans or animals?
I think you need some anchor in life, some goal. You just have to find yours.
Unfortunately, even though I hate to admit it, I have never been a particularly social person, and to a certain extent even shy of dealing with it.
My big passion is actually the story. I love to research archives and sources and publish writings. Unfortunately, the jobs after a history study are highly limited, specialized literature (which one could write) at best a niche.
When I first realized this with 16/17, I experienced the first break in my moral and motivation. Since then I'm mistaken, more or less, disillusioned with me.
Nevertheless, I find your chosen expression "vegetate to yourself" but very wild.
Well, unfortunately, this went from your previously chosen description so…
Just try new activities. For example, I watched a movie and then felt like taking on programming. Or to compose… Take movies that you like to watch as an example. You will definitely find something!
Hmm difficult… So you have mentioned many things you are not interested in. Is there something else that interests you? If not, then you have to see if things can be found that you do not know yet. Consumption as well as productive hobbies.
You should also think about dreams or wishes… They do not have to be realistic.
Example to me: I also liked the entertainment electronics… Then I looked at other technical things… Then I discovered the videography. I'm now a tech enthusiast and produce music videos.
In summary: look at what interests you. Take a closer look at similar or partial areas of it. If you find something exciting, there are enough life goals together ^^
