My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now and I think she is really not well at the moment. She is totally unmotivated, eats little and and and. Sometimes you just have to say something and there's a bad mood in it. Our relationship has its ups and downs like everyone, but I wouldn't say that it is because of our relationship that it is so good.
For a few days now she has barely been eating, when I cook she does something else instead of eating. She needs to do a few things (that would change her life positively), but is not motivated to do it because she believes it won't change anything. I try to help her, but I can't. She lies in bed all day, plays on the PS4 now and then and goes back to bed because she is not motivated. I said to her that we would like to get out (soak up the sun, she is only inside) and then play table tennis or something, I would also go to the doctor with her, she only had to sit down for a few hours Getting things done, but she just ignores that, then she just ignores me. It hurts me a lot, of course, I then ask myself some questions about our relationship and feel helpless myself because I try everything to help her and almost tear myself when I see her so unmotivated. Finally, I'm in a bad mood.
What can I do? I don't know. I also offered her to do her things together or to come up with rewards for her work, but no. No Answer. 😠I'm 30 and she is 28.
My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years now and I think she is really not well at the moment. She is totally unmotivated, eats little and and and. Sometimes you just have to say something and there's a bad mood in it. Our relationship has its ups and downs like everyone, but I wouldn't say that it is because of our relationship that it is so good.
I would not speak directly of depression sometimes you have such a phase… And if she is really ill, you can only help if she also accepts your help
Unfortunately, you can't help her. It belongs in the hands of an experienced psychologist who specializes in something like this, only your girlfriend has to be ready
It sounds like she needs urgent medical help. The drive can be increased by antidepressants - but of course you have to go to the doctor first. And an increased drive is the prerequisite to get a grip on your life and regulate your affairs.
So I would try to motivate them to see a doctor. You say that has not worked so far. I would tell her in your place that you are worried and you would be better off if you two went to the doctor. If necessary, you have to try to make her feel guilty and put pressure on her if she stubbornly refuses. Because she definitely needs help.
Send them to the family doctor. He can then refer her to a psychiatrist if she is suspected of depression. You can do little yourself. Except being helpful and understanding. But you do that as it seems to me.
As a layperson, you can't judge whether she really has depression. Nobody here in the forum, of course. There are specialists for this. You describe a few of the symptoms you get when you have depression. But they can only show up for no reason. There are also many other options. Eg Hormonal changes, lack of nutrients, … It should first be examined by a family doctor, including a blood count, etc.
Today everyone calls a small change in mood a depression. You have to differentiate exactly. Only when a psychiatrist has confirmed the suspicion should you call it that. Your girlfriend may be missing something, but most of the time it's not as serious a disease as depression. At least I wish it is something harmless.
Hope I could help. If you have any questions, feel free to write.
Unfortunately, that does little. She needs a job, otherwise she will have no money from the month after next and that is not exactly a small cost what she has per month. She also owes me something. She has needed a job for 7 months. B and can't manage to find one.
Exactly you say it. That brings little, unfortunately, you can hang yourself in so much at the end of the day, she decides for herself what she does and what not
But we live together. I have to be able to do something to you.
I tried it all. Bring nothing. She needs a job, urgently. When I ask her how she wants to survive soon, the only answer is 'I don't know'. I really did everything I can think of. Put yourself under pressure and nothing else works.
I'm really sorry, but you can't help her there. It has to come from her.
However, you should at least tell her how much that is bothering you and pulling you down and that you would like her to finally do something about it because your relationship suffers.
My partner even said to me to end it if I didn't see a psychologist. In my opinion, he did the right thing. I'm now "healed" and see what a burden I was before. I wouldn't have stayed with me myself 😅
But I think threatening her would make it worse, right? That was my thought too. After all, we live together and their problems are almost mine, too, after that when it comes to money or something.
As I said, my partner did that too. I didn't want to lose him because I care about him. So I took his words to heart and looked for a psychologist who would also help me. Of course he also supported me when he realized that I would do something for it.
But helping her if she doesn't do anything is pointless.
You don't have to sound too hard. As I said, tell her how much it is bothering you. Then that your relationship suffers (so that it can build understanding for you). And then that you don't know if you can stay together if she doesn't do anything for it. Something like that. If you are important to her, she will see it.
I'm sorry…
Maybe you can get a doctor to visit you at home?
