Hi! I (M / 14) have been getting along with my father for about 1 - 1.5 years. From my side, I have to say that I rarely stick to agreements and that my father gets angry accordingly. I only tidy my room when prompted, clear that my father is angry then. He even threatened to hit me a couple of times, but never did.
Basically, the punishments look like that I can say goodbye to PS4 and cellphone for 1-2 days. Do you have any ideas how I can better stick to agreements in the future (like in my case e.g. Loading and unloading the dishwasher or vacuuming the apartment every week), i.e. How I can build up more discipline or motivate myself to do so z. B. Clean up my room? I often plan a lot, but then I have no desire or motivation to do so. As I said, I see most of the errors on my side.
You are in the middle of puberty and it is normal not to feel like it because the hormones are playing tricks on you.
As a concession, you can make a list of what to do. And then you do that too. And as a reward, treat yourself to something nice. For doing it.
So for the first time I have to agree with the other comment: it is quite normal to react like this during puberty. The relationship will most likely not suffer as a result in the long run.
Often, when you have to tidy up the room, you are asked that it should be tidied up when it already looks "as if a bomb has hit". For me I discovered the system in which I tidied my desk every day for a few days and wiped it with a cloth. During that time I "forbidden" myself to tidy up the rest of the room. After a while I added another surface and every time I found that it wasn't too much work, I cleaned up and wiped more and more. During this process you really notice how little work it is to clean up if you do it every day. But if you set out to tidy up every day, it seems like a huge task - especially when tidying up can sometimes after weeks also become a long task - and you think to yourself: "Oh, I'll do another time." Try it out, I found it at a question forum and expanded it to other areas of life.
If you wanted to use the aforementioned technique I would give your dad a little heads up so he knows why you are only cleaning up a part and that you will gradually take more of it. Because if you ignore parts of the room for weeks, it can lead to the fact that you are asked to clean up everything that is technically good, because that "forbids you to clean up the rest of the room" when clarifying the importance of daily activities helps.
Conclusion: You need a lot of motivation to do a big task, but little to do small tasks.
