Boyfriend never pays anything?

A question for the girls:

It is all about…

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and the biggest problem I see in our relationship is that he seems very stingy…

Of course I can pay for myself and I don't want to be invited all the time, but every time we go out we pay separately. I somehow think it's good to at least offer it…

Another example is that when we go shopping for my family, of course, I pay and at the same time pay for the little things that he wants to buy and then sometimes say that I paid for him, that was probably the equivalent of 50 euro.

I don't mind that either, but once I didn't have enough cash with me and didn't want to pay by card, but definitely still have muffins because I love and had my days (3 euro) that he didn't want to pay me then, that did Made me kind of sad

For his birthday I gave him a really nice present, put a lot of effort and thought into it, and about 100 euro
And another 100 euro for Christmas

he was very happy about his present and when I saw his wife's present for me, I was really disappointed…

A 20 euro perfume and earrings that I wanted; he had bought the earrings in child size so he had to send them back

Anyway, he spent 20 euro on me and I NEVER get anything back for the earrings he had to exchange

I've made such an effort for him. And then I see him buying games for the Playstation worth 60 euro.

and then in the end crying around with me that he has no money.

I'm really not fixated on money, but I think that if you love a person, you want to pamper them somewhere or invite them over.

That really annoys me immensely about him! I've already spoken to him about it several times and then he tells me he'll invite me when we go out to eat, but with such an annoyed voice that I know he doesn't like it and I say no accordingly.

What do you think of it?

Tell him exactly what you wrote here.

In the relationship, you should be open about your problems with each other.

If talking doesn't help, only very strict separate cash registers help.

but I would also consider spending the rest of my life with him

I'll try that, thank you!

I think you are exaggerating completely. Just because you willingly buy him something for 200 euro, do you expect him to do the same? I think that's a bit childish. Be glad that he even thought about what you like. It doesn't really matter how much a gift cost. I would also be happy with a card I made myself, and to be honest I would even prefer it to something that I bought. But you seem to be thinking materially. That is also your right and your business. But if it is so much more important to you that your boyfriend buy you something than your love, maybe you should make your priorities clear in the beginning for the next relationship.

That's it, he doesn't worry at all and I also told him he could just make something for me so that I can see that he loves me

I sometimes make something for him myself.

if you spend 100 euro a month on games and don't buy your girlfriend 3 euro muffins, that's not okay with me

but thanks for the answer

If you spend 100 euro a month on games and don't buy your girlfriend 3 euro muffins, that's not okay with me

Then tell him that

First of all: You don't have to spend more than 20 euro for a gift. (Not even for the partner)

As a man, I somehow take it for granted that I should invite a woman over from time to time. In no case should you always do it and I would be happy if a woman invited me. Nonetheless, I think it's part of just "giving" something like that without expecting anything. (So e.g. To spontaneously pay for muffins or something)

And as a man I have to say that I think it's right that you pay for both of them at least on your first date.

Avarice is a quality that I don't like at all.

From the descriptions it sounds like greed.

I would draw his attention to it, very factually without much emotion. And ask why. Were there financial worries in the family o big wishes?

And then clarify for yourself whether you can live with this quality / there's hope for change.

Thank you so much