I'm 20 years old and have been at home for about 1 year. Did my Abitur and since then I don't know what to do. So job and study technical.
My stepmother tried to help me. What I'm interested in and what I'm looking for, she forced me to write an application and we should look at it together and send it off.
Unfortunately, I didn't feel like doing it and didn't want to do it if I didn't even know what to do in my future. And listening to me every day for a year and a half wasn't nice either. It was just annoying. These conversations over and over again.
In between I had a temporary job but it wasn't extended and I didn't feel like doing it, which was annoying. I played Playstation all night, sometimes during the day. In the nights I was often pulled the plug because I was probably too loud and my parents woke up from it. But I wasn't loud.
My father always threatened me to be expelled. I couldn't talk to my parents anymore. Everything I've done and done has always been wrong.
Well and the day before yesterday my stepmother forced me to look for 5 applications per day with a link to the apprenticeship position and we would then discuss it in the evening. And I didn't want that. So I said to my stepmother that I won't do that, that it's too much.
She spoke to my father and he called my mother. I could hear the conversation. So… Then my stepmother told me that I should pack things and leave keys there and go to my mother. I didn't go to my mother, but to a friend.
My stepmother told me explicitly that I should go to my mother and nowhere else. That Hotel Mama has now come to an end and I can only come back when I've found something. That it is better. Bla bla bla.
She then wrote me a message asking if I was going to see my mother - of course I said no, she wanted to know where I was going. But I did not say. She annoys. Now i do not know any further. You can't just throw your son out of your home. I would never do that.
Edit question
I still learned the rule: "If you don't work, you shouldn't eat either."
That sounds really tough, doesn't it? How would you have acted instead of your stepmother to improve the situation? Something like this: "Oh boy, if you don't yet know what you want to do professionally, it doesn't matter. It is not foreseeable whether you will find a decision in 3 months or 3 years or 20 years - or at all Don't. You know, you just play Playstation and the world is fine. "
It is not logical if you want to improve the situation without doing anything yourself. So if you play Playstation instead of applying for a job or working, you signal: "I think this situation is great. As far as I'm concerned, it can stay that way. The main thing is that your parents continue to take care of me. So, dear parents, go to work, be hardworking, bring money and groceries home with you. And please don't forget my cigarettes and my beer. You know my brand. "
Now I ask you: why should parents support this attitude?
My recommendation:
apologize to your stepmother for your ungrateful behavior.
Keep writing applications until you break your fingers. Clarify the content with someone who knows how to write applications.
You may find a place where you don't like everything. So what? But you will learn something and what you want to learn will help you find the job that you will ultimately enjoy. There are quite a few people who have even completed two vocational trainings and use this to their advantage.
You know: Failures see everything as a problem and are afraid of failure.
The successful strive for beautiful and good goals and do everything in their power to achieve their goals. And if you do not yet know your final goal, then first fight your way towards an intermediate goal. From there you can see better than from the current situation. So first do what you can do and then you decide how to proceed.
But to decide now "I'm not making a decision and prefer to flee to the games on Playstation out of fear of negative experiences" is the direct route to the ultimate goal of failure. It's your decision. Make the most of your situation.
You are of legal age and therefore your parents are no longer obliged to let you live with them. However, you are entitled to maintenance IF you are in an apprenticeship and want to finish this apprenticeship with determination.
However, you can get support and advice from the responsible youth welfare office, youth counseling center or a lawyer up to the age of 21.
But no matter how you twist and turn it, you have to take care of yourself. No matter how you choose. Your stepmother has done everything to support you, if you do not want to accept help, you have to deal with the consequences. You are grown-up. You are now responsible yourself.
But they can.
It's OK if you may not already know what to do with your life, but then at least they can expect you to try to find out.
Through internships, through a voluntary social year, or in which you simply start studying, even if you are not yet sure whether you will change the subject again after 1 or 2 semesters.
Anything better than playing Playstation all day.
As soon as you actively take care of vocational training or studies, your parents are again liable for maintenance.
She did everything right. In addition, you are not even her son, so she has already made more trouble with you than she has to.
you should be ashamed of yourself. You're 20 and you've been lying on your father's and his wife's pockets for a year and doing nothing. You refuse to look for work or an education. The point has been reached where it doesn't matter what you want to do. You are grown up and it is time that you stand on your own two feet and take care of yourself.
Whether you stay with your friends or go to your mother is up to you. It is recommended that you prepare your applications quickly, report to the job center / employment office in order to get into work quickly - no matter which one, so that you can pay your costs with your friends or your mother. Otherwise it will be very cold the next time you are thrown out and you can't hang out with your friends for days or even weeks and think that there's nothing more you can do. So get going, nobody gives you anything.
Possibly not, because he is not determinedly looking for training.
