Friend playing up to 9 hours of PS4 a day?

I (18) and my friend (24) are 3 years together. I'm not sure if I'm in a position to complain or if I'm exaggerating. Regarding the situation: I officially live with my parents (3/4 hour drive away) and spend every weekend with him, depending on the situation, even a few days a week. Must then get up at 5 a.m. To get to work in time.

Therefore I would like it if he would spend the evening with me there. Since I can 'watch' him and then go to bed alone. I always wonder what I'm here for.

He starts playing at around 6 p.m. And ends at midnight to 2 a.m. Because he knows that it annoys me, he doesn't play during the day and watches a film with me alibi. If he is very nice he even plays 'only 5 hours'. If I said 'honey you don't have to watch a movie, you can play' he would be very happy.

• When I point out how long he has been playing, he often says 'this is only this week because you get some bonus if you shoot so many people.'

• Or 'xy has a child and plays a lot more than me, doesn't care about his child.'

He says that he plays too much and that the people he plays with often persuade him to continue. But he also plays other games offline, alone?

I understand that this is his hobby, we even have 2 consoles and I play 2-3 hours every now and then. I don't want to keep myself busy for so long. Even if we have no specific project (since he often wants a suggestion what we could do instead, then I can't think of anything and he then takes it as confirmation to continue playing.) I'm burdened by the whole topic and I'm often really angry with him.

Are you talking about the weekend situation now? Or during the week? If he spends the day with you on the weekend and plays in the evening, I don't see that as a big problem. If you have a problem with it, you will discuss it with him and, depending on the situation, you will have to draw the appropriate consequences for YOU…

From the perspective of a "player":

Well, it is absolutely understandable, the ps4 offers countless entertainment options ^^ You just get lost in it and can't get out. Isn't it too bad, maybe you could play together? There are a lot of interesting games (Gta 5;) where you could have fun. But if he excludes you, that's of course stupid

You shouldn't delay this, it's a massive problem. He is obviously addicted to games because he neglects you and apparently has no further interests. Sitting at the console, even though you drive up and look forward to it, is blatant, is a disregard for yourself.
Either he has the strength to change his life or you should end the relationship. To do this, you need to have an open, clear conversation. He seems to be suppressing what's going on, or he's so blunted that he doesn't even notice.

Well, he plays from 6 p.m., during the week and on weekends. That would end? I think from 5 hours a day you can already speak of an addiction. Sry when the gamers feel attacked now.

Thank you, I see it that way too… But I'm confused by these two extremely different opinions of 'leave him alone, that's normal' up to your point of view ^^

Game addiction is not defined by time. But only by the way. Yes, if you feel uncomfortable and are more unhappy than happy, you should break up.

How would you like to spend the evening with him?

If playing is so important to him, just go there on the weekend and think about what you could do.

The answers here are terrifying, I think. Apparently playing is more important than the girlfriend. I would not be there during the week. At the weekend he should have time.

If that's not the case, go. What do you want with a guy who finds playing more important than his girlfriend and sometime children.

I wouldn't give myself a shot. Sorry He doesn't even notice when you run out of time. That borders on addiction.

All the best

We go to bed together

Why should he do that when he's not tired yet? If he plays as she describes it, he will have a very different sleep pattern than she does.

If that doesn't work, I would give him time. At some point, the addiction subsides because gaming is just too boring.

Have you ever gambled? Do you know someone who gambles? Because the statement is, no offense, damn naive. And can actually only come from someone who has no experience with the topic. Plus, you give her false hopes.

I wouldn't give up my favorite hobby for my girlfriend, would you? Basically, however, they should both try to find a compromise.

Just. Where there's a way. I would not go there during the week. What for? To watch him gamble? Definitely not.

I don't give her false hopes. I even write how it was with me. I also had a phase in which I gambled extremely many. In the meantime I hardly play anymore, I have a normal sleep rhythm again and that even despite Corona.

and yes, I think it would be appropriate to go to bed together. In a relationship you sometimes have to do without some things. Out of love. And I don't think that would be too much to ask.

but it was just a suggestion, not an individually tailored solution

I would not go there during the week. What for? To watch him gamble? Definitely not.

I agree.

May I ask how long this phase was and what you gambled?

For that he should shut it down at the WE. Otherwise I would be gone.

And what do you mean by "shut down"?

That's not an addiction… If he wants to gamble then he should do it. And when the girlfriend comes he shouldn't play a weekend or skip the Ps4 every Saturday. (Exception for weapons and XP Boost because these are usually limited in time)

Reduce and have time for me or you. Because even if that is not possible, it all makes little sense.

Went about 2 1/2 years. Was very much from GTA League of legends, all sorts of other games.

And even if you say now that these are not games that are really so addicting - but it was like that for me at the time.

And I would not find it nice and I would have no desire for a relationship if it looks like the questioner describes it.

Logical. I meant in time.

Best not at all.

Back when you were 12 do you think? No offense, but if you paddle a little GTA or League of legends at 12 and stop at some point because you don't feel like it anymore, that's not representative. Anyone who sits at the console 9 hours a day at the age of 24 will no longer get bored, you can assume that.

And I would not find it nice and I would have no desire for a relationship if it looks like the questioner describes it.

Of course, this is completely legitimate.

Absolutely right. Relationship? She did not. Sorry

I say yes. Different opinions. I totally understand both sides and have only written down what came to my mind first.
And yet, I believe that there are definitely people who can get away from it even at 24.

So should he stop playing at the weekend? Hm, of course it is your right to presume that, I understand from your perspective, but it is completely utopian in this scenario, I'm sorry.

Leave him alone can only come from people who only gamble themselves. That's why I wrote yes, I find the answers here terrifying.

It is an addiction.

"Get away from it"? Why should they? It's like saying that there are people who get away from martial arts at 24. Or from reading. Or from gardening. You tried it 12 times and found that it is not something that captivates you in the long term. It was obviously different with him and since there are also old people who play, someone who has established themselves as a hobby will not stop suddenly because it is "boring".

No it is not. Then he has an addiction problem.

Excuse me, but you obviously don't know what an addiction is. If he has a balanced diet, enough exercise, a regular daily routine with a job and regular contact with friends, he is NOT addicted. Incidentally, he can also keep in touch with friends via the console and headset, provided that they see each other from time to time, although that is currently not recommended. Under these circumstances, after the work and housekeeping is done, it is perfectly reasonable to spend the rest of the evening playing games. This is NOT an addiction.

You seem to know your way around. These are signs of an addiction. He plays. No contact with friends. Nice day.

And "he shouldn't play anymore, otherwise he is addicted" can only come from people who have no real gambling experience. And no, Tetris is not one of them. No offense.

Oh yes, I actually know my way around. For example, I attended some training courses on the subject and also read in because I'm interested in the topic. There are certain addictive traits, including neglect of everyday life and social life, but none of this is given when he spends his evenings gambling. The day is long and you don't know what he does the rest of the day, whether and to what extent he maintains contact with friends etc. Apart from the fact that remote diagnoses over the Internet are rather poor anyway.

The remote diagnosis may be correct. But even if he works. During the breaks you can play on your cell phone. I'm sorry, but I've already experienced that. And is it not social contact?

Of course it is a social contact. Apparently he spends time with her every day. Unfortunately, the question contains only a few details and when I asked how she would like to spend time with him, there was no answer. Anyway, if we assume that they get up at around 9 a.m. On the weekend and then he spends time with her until 6 p.m., that's definitely enough social contact not to be able to speak of an addiction. Even if it is of course completely legitimate, if that is not enough for her and she also wants to spend the evening with him.

I see it differently sorry. Especially at that age.

"Leave him alone" or "you just whine" are really indiscutable answers. Don't be put off by this.

What in you…; … So dulled…

Correct. That's exactly what I mean.

Something had to come now. That is what I have been waiting for.

I said "these are signs of addiction". But it becomes clear again that you can't express your opinion openly here.

You said "Then he has an addiction problem", but no matter, that's not the point, just wanted to turn your statement.

Leave it. I'm not turning yours over either.

Ah addiction?

Leave him alone can only come from people who only gamble themselves.

Suggestion: You don't bring any arguments ad hominem, then I don't have to turn them over to show you how stupid that is for those concerned. How about

I beg your pardon?

I did not say that. Please read it correctly. You put your opinion under everyone here. But it is also accepted. Then please accept other opinions.

This is a quote that I copied from your post, I can troll myself. Yes, I have. I accept your opinion, I even respect it. And precisely because I respect them, I take the right to criticize them. You are cordially invited to criticize my opinion in the same way as long as you remain factual. I'm, or did I insult you at any point?

I just asked you to accept others' opinions. We do too.

You don't troll, you don't accept other opinions. I'm out. It just doesn't work.

You're absolutely right

How does a couple spend the evening together? Together.

Criticism is not a contradiction to acceptance. But maybe you see it as a restriction of your freedom of expression if someone tells you that they think your opinion sucks. Nonetheless, you are right: it doesn't do anything

Well… How I would like to spend the evening. In Corona's time there's not much scope anyway. And even if this is not the case, what is great to do on a weekday evening ^^

I say order 0815 food, cuddle, watch a movie, chat, drink a glass of wine. Basically no matter what.

Even if I didn't mention that because I wanted to be brief. Otherwise social contacts are not so common anyway. So most of the contact takes place via the headset. Except for the siblings and the parents from time to time. So when someone comes to visit or just us. But nothing really is done outside of the apartment.

And even in the current situation it would be great to do something outside. Jogging / walking etc. Since you only sit inside anyway, he doesn't want to either.

But bear addiction

I think reading, gardening, martial arts are things that take you further in life (of course it's a matter of opinion) but gaming is basically nothing where you really do something good in the long run in my opinion. Nor can I compare an alcoholic with a vegan. - strange comparison but I hope you understand what I mean