Analysis of an "unboxing video"
On October 28, 2020, an unboxing video for the brand new PlayStation 5 was uploaded to PietSmiet's YouTube channel. The unboxing video is 10 minutes long. Peter's video begins with the greeting "Ladys and Gentelmens".
At the beginning of the video, YouTuber PietSmiet explains that the PlayStation is not yet officially out. The brand new console from Sony will only be available in Europe from November 19th. In contrast to Europe, the PlayStation will be available in the USA and Japan from November 12th.
On the packaging of the PS5 (PlayStation 5) you can see that Sony has made a big leap in console development. Furthermore, Peter shows what the PlayStation can do. Instead of an HDR resolution like a PS4, the PlayStation 5 creates a resolution of up to 8K. However, this requires a suitable screen with a high resolution.
Furthermore, the YouTuber enters a lot of technical data. In contrast to the Xbox, he likes the PlayStation more. However, he recommends that his viewers buy a gaming PC. On the grounds that a gaming PC is more worthwhile than a console in the long term.
After he has unpacked the product, you can see in the video that the packaging contained a controller, an HDMI cable, a stand, the console and a charging cable. The base is for the console to be fastened horizontally.
Without this stand, the console could only stand vertically.
In the middle of the video you can see the console unpacked. Peter didn't think the PlayStation was that big. The PlayStation is currently the largest console in the world.
From the 6 min Peter starts to list the negative things about the PlayStation.
From this minute on, it shows the weight of the console. At 4.40 kg, it is also the heaviest console in the world. He thinks the console could have been made more compact. However, appearance is irrelevant to him.
Due to a soft voice, he seems pretty calm and personable to YouTuber when unboxing. With a good speaking pace, he explains the most important things about the new console.
Finally, the German YouTuber says goodbye very politely and thanks Sony for the test product. Furthermore, he asks his audience to like and share the video.
I would be happy if you give me some improvements or feedpacks.
Would be nice if you find grammar mistakes or something.
At the beginning of the video, YouTuber PietSmiet explains that the PlayStation is not officially out yet. The brand new console from Sony will only be available in Europe from November 19th. In contrast to Europe, the PlayStation will be available in the USA and Japan from November 12th.
On the packaging of the PS5 (PlayStation 5) you can see that Sony has made a big leap in console development. Furthermore, Peter shows what the PlayStation can do. Instead of an HDR resolution like a PS4, the PlayStation 5 creates a resolution of up to 8K. However, this requires a suitable screen with a high resolution.
Furthermore, YouTube goes into a lot of technical data. He likes the PlayStation better than the Xbox. However, he recommends his viewers prefer to buy a gaming PC. On the grounds that a gaming PC is more worthwhile than a console in the long term.
After unpacking the product, you can see in the video that there was a controller, an HDMI cable, a stand, the console and a charging cable in the box. The base is used to set up the console horizontally.
Without this stand, the console could only stand vertically.
In the middle of the video you can see the console unpacked. Peter didn't think the PlayStation was that big. The PlayStation is currently the largest console in the world.
From the 6th minute on, Peter starts listing the negative things about the PlayStation.
From this minute on, it shows the weight of the console. At 4.40 kg, it is the heaviest console in the world. He thinks the console could have been made more compact. However, he finds the appearance irrelevant.
Due to his soft voice, the YouTuber seems pretty calm and personable when unboxing. With a good speaking pace, he explains the most important things about the new console.
Finally, the German YouTuber says goodbye very politely and thanks Sony for the test product. Furthermore, he asks his audience to like and share the video
P.S.:
I only corrected that very moderately, because the teacher should still believe you that you wrote that. In general, you use too much colloquial language and have a weakness in the area of prepositions.
It is best to read through it yourself first (or twice) The mistakes are almost obvious:
At the beginning of the video, YouTuber PietSmiet explains that the PlayStation is not yet officially out.
Here's an example. You should notice something while reading. There are other examples.
Furthermore, Peter shows what the PlayStation can do
Too colloquial…
The sentence structure is not particularly sparkling now because the sentences are too short.
As an example, so that you know what I mean:
I would write:
"It will soon be noon and I'm already looking forward to my spaghetti that I made with my boyfriend last night".
Your sentence structure sounds like this: "It will soon be 12 noon. Then I'll eat my spaghetti. I made it yesterday. My friend helped me with it."
Do you understand what I mean?
Otherwise, this is not an analysis at all, but you only express what you have seen in words.
The only thing that equals an analysis is that:
Due to a soft voice, he seems pretty calm and personable to YouTuber when unboxing. With a good speaking pace, he explains the most important things about the new console.
The rest of your essay is not an analysis, but a moderate summary of a video.
In general, you use too much colloquial language and have a weakness in the area of prepositions.
… And in sentence structure and in recognizing the actual task.
What he wrote here is not an analysis of a video, but a summary of what has been seen.
He would be completely over the topic, which then has a bad effect on the grading.
You're right. Basically, it's a summary, not an analysis.
Everything has already been said on the subject of grammar and spelling, but I, too, allow myself to point out that this has absolutely nothing to do with a text analysis.
If that is rated, it is in the worst case grade 6 with the note "content failed".
An analysis is not about repeating what has been heard / seen, but about how and why it was told by the Youtuber. Then there are stylistic means (e.g. Is used or spoken; who is the target group, etc.)
The "what" i.e. The introduction of the PS5 comes in the introduction.
