Well, maybe I have to go a bit further.
My friend has two children (6 and 8 / joint custody), both unfortunately live with the mother. We would like to take the children to us, but the mother would make a lot of trouble there and not because of the children because of the money.
What "evidence" would be needed to really get the kids through? Are screenshots of status messages allowed in court or not? We have some of those on which you can see them every weekend and also 2-3 times a week celebration or until late into the night visit with them and alcohol is drunk although the children have to get up early the next day.
To support my friend pays… Of the money is hardly done for the children, both are often too large and especially old worn clothes on, they get shoes, even if both complain that the shoes press and are too small, only when eg Winter shoes must be purchased. And then only the cheapest is bought from cheap.
To make matters worse then the eldest to the eighth birthday got an XBOX given from her.
The children we pick most of the time from the great-grandma because they apparently can't get rid of the kids on the weekend fast enough. Homework is also not controlled or any gaps worked up.
I hope that I have not put out too far but I could still enumerate so much as housing situation and the like…
Since the common custody exists, it should be considered whether the father applies for sole custody. The hurdles are high.
You can read more here:
https://www.scheidung.de/wann-kann-ich-nach-meiner-trennung-oder-scheidung-das-alleinige-sorgerecht-fuer-mein-kind-erhalten.html
iurFriend AG
Your friend should contact the youth welfare office. They will see on the spot after the right. However, "cheap" shoes or the purchase of an X-Box will not be enough to deprive the mother of custody. If she's going to party from time to time, but the kids are not home alone, but are staying with the great-grandma, then you can't conclude that this is a bad mother.
Even if she controls the homework or not: no reason for the withdrawal of custody…
However, if the youth welfare office actually finds a neglect of the children, then you will act: you will offer her help.
The assumption that the mother has only the children because of the money is also very far-fetched. You may want to consider negotiating with the mother for a more extensive visitation or, if possible, to pursue the change model. That would be a first step in the right direction. So your friend has even more possibilities to "positively" (in your sense) to influence the children.
I do not want to judge the situation unless I know the other side of the story and unfortunately can't give you any legal advice. But without wanting to get too close to you; Your evidence also allows for a different interpretation.
What proves that the mother wants to have her children with her "because of the money" and since when are child support payments so lucrative?
Why should a mother not be allowed to party while childcare is regulated?
Why should a mother not receive a visit or be drunk in her apartment alcohol, the children will probably not celebrate and drink?
Secondhand makes sense economically and ecologically with children and many families give and take worn clothes - also on increase.
Even helicopter mothers miss too small shoes with fast-growing children's feet and winter shoes fit children a maximum of one season - as one considers whether they should then cost 140, - €.
Combined with games that use motion-based controls, the Xbox is suitable from the age of about six years. Without the Kinect solution, the Xbox is probably only from twelve years.
For separated parents, the delivery of the children takes place sometimes in neutral places - just to avoid unpleasant encounters and discussions out of the way.
Homework control is not mandatory and may conflict with the learning of independent work.
Have you ever thought of a change model?
Wishing you all the best!
